


Bad Feelings

by TheBretonBookDragon



Series: The Adventures of Almithara and Ondolemar [5]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Bad Days, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, mother-daughter bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28454064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBretonBookDragon/pseuds/TheBretonBookDragon
Summary: Not everything is perfect all of the time, and sometimes you just need someone to remind you that it's going to be okay. Set after the end of A Broken Promise Means War.
Relationships: Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Ondolemar
Series: The Adventures of Almithara and Ondolemar [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842877
Kudos: 6





	Bad Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! I wanted to get this posted by the end of the year. It's a little more serious than the other one-shots I've posted in this universe, but sometimes life is like that.
> 
> This will be the last thing I post this year. I have a big list of stuff for next year, which I'm looking forward to very much. I hope everyone has a happy new year!

Sofie and Quintus are sitting at the table with the twins and Allannia, now eight and three-and-a-half, respectively. Their mama and papa were supposed to be back by now, but the errand in town seems to be taking longer than either of the boys told Sofie it would. "I thought they'd be back by now," Nelaeryn remarks, his blond eyebrows furrowing in consternation.

"It's okay, boys," Sofie assures her brothers. "You'll just have to deal with us for the time being."

Theodemar smiles at his big sister. "That's fine!" he says brightly.

After a few more minutes of eating, the front doors bang open with a deafening clatter. "Why can't you just tell me what I did to offend you!?" Ondolemar shouts.

"Just leave me alone!" Almithara yells back. "I don't even want to look at you right now!"

Sofie's eyes widen. In all her years with Almithara as her mother and Ondolemar as her father, she's never heard them fight like this. She's never heard her mother so much as raise her voice outside of combat since Ondolemar has been in the older woman's life. They've had disagreements—everyone does—but it's never been with this much malice in her voice. What could have possibly happened?

They can hear Ondolemar's growl of frustration. "Don't walk away!" he commands. "We can solve this if you'll just tell me what's wrong!"

"I said: Leave. Me. Alone!" The last three words of her sentence resound with an echo of the Thu'um, and Ondolemar falls silent. Almithara takes the opportunity to flee upstairs.

Sofie glances at Quintus, who looks just as shocked as she feels. Allannia gets up from her chair with big tears in her eyes and runs to find her father in a flurry of flowing blonde hair and rustling golden fabric.

Ondolemar didn't realize that the children would be downstairs, and he's immediately embarrassed by the knowledge. Scooping up his daughter, who buries her face into the crook of his neck and continues to cry quietly, he joins the other four in the dining room. "I apologize for the display."

"What's going on?" Nelaeryn asks innocently. "I've never heard mother yell like that."

"Did we do something wrong?" Theodemar questions, a trace of fear and upset in his green eyes.

Ondolemar closes his eyes and sighs, cuddling Allannia a little closer. "I wish I knew. She's been like that ever since she left Belethor's. I was speaking to Ysolda in the square when she came out and announced that we were leaving. She spent the entire walk ignoring me."

Sofie suddenly realizes something. "What's today?"

"The 17th of Second Seed," Quintus reveals. "Why?"

Sofie sighs heavily. "I think I know what's wrong." She stands from the table and smiles at Ondolemar. "I'll go see what I can do, Papa."

Ondolemar's answering smile is a little uneasy. "Thank you," he says and then takes his place at the table with Allannia still clinging onto him as tightly as she can.

Sofie climbs the stairs to the second floor of the Keep and follows the sounds of sniffling to her parents' room. When she reaches the open door, she lightly knocks on the frame. "I said to leave me alone, Ondolemar," Almithara says with obvious exasperation.

"Papa's still downstairs," Sofie says, causing her mother to turn and look at her.

Almithara remembers now that her oldest daughter and her daughter's husband were coming to stay with them for the week, and her embarrassment at her actions skyrockets. She brings one hand up to her face and rubs down her drawn features. "I'm so sorry you had to see that. I didn't realize you'd be here."

"The twins and Allannia heard it too," Sofie adds, figuring she might as well get all the information out in the open.

Almithara's face crumples, and fresh tears spring to her eyes. "Why am I so stupid?"

Sofie walks over to the bed and sinks down next to her mother, wrapping the older woman in her arms and resting her head on Almithara's black hair. She still smells like lavender, just like she always has. "You're not stupid, mama. It's the 17th of Second Seed. I should've realized it would be a hard day for you."

"But it's never been hard any other year," Almithara complains through her tears. "And I'm glad he's gone. I'm glad I have Ondolemar. Why am I upset?"

"Because you saw papa talking to another woman, even though I'm sure he didn't think anything of it. It made you put papa in the memory instead," Sofie answers succinctly.

"She put her hand on his arm and giggled, and I just saw red. I swear it's like I can't control my reaction right now. I feel so crazy." Almithara jerks back from Sofie and shocks the girl. "I shouldn't be talking to you about this. It's not your place to listen to my problems. I'm sorry."

"Mama," Sofie begins in a scolding voice, a stern expression on her face, "I'm a grown, married woman now. If I want to help my mama when she's in pain, then I'm going to do it. Get back over here," she orders, holding her arms open for Almithara to resume her place.

Almithara manages a shaky laugh and falls back on her daughter. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I still think of you as the little girl I found selling flowers, but it's been a long time since then."

"It has," Sofie confirms. "Every time I walk past those doors, I remember the first time I saw you, all smiling and bright and bubbly. You bought all my flowers and then offered me a home. It was more than I could've ever imagined, so if I can help you now, I'll do what I can. What do you need, mama?"

Almithara releases a shaky exhale and seems to deflate. "I don't know what I need. I know Ondolemar would never do anything to hurt me. He's never so much as looked at another woman since I met him, but I can't stop this feeling. And then he acted like he didn't know what he did, and it just made me so angry. But that makes no sense because he wouldn't know. It was an innocuous encounter, and he wasn't here when I found Vilkas with Njada. He wouldn't know, but I'm still just so furious," Almithara explains with obvious vexation.

"Emotions don't always make sense," Sofie offers. "Something as traumatic as what happened to you is bound to have some lasting effects."

"But I've never cared until now."

"Because seeing papa with someone else brought back the bad memories. And while you were sad about Vilkas, you weren't that surprised, mama. I was young, but I had eyes. We all did. But papa is a different story. You love him more than anything in the world and don't want to lose him. It's normal. You just have to make yourself realize that papa wouldn't do that, but you shouldn't feel bad about your reaction. These things happen even to the strongest of people—and you fall into that category."

Almithara sniffles and wipes at her face. "When did you get so smart?"

"I had this great mama who taught me a lot of things. Some by telling me, some by example. And I think that she should talk to papa about what's bothering her right away. She'd know it's important to make these things right as soon as possible."

Almithara exhales and shuts her eyes again. "You're right. I just don't particularly want to face him after acting like that. But I'm the Dragonborn; I should gather my courage and face this like I do with anything else."

"That's right," Sofie agrees. "But you're also human. You don't have to be strong and fearless all the time. You can have meltdowns from time to time. I'll go relieve papa of Allannia and send him up. It's been too long since I fawned over how pretty she is." Sofie extricates herself from her mother and stands up to go and retrieve her father.

Almithara takes the few moments of quiet to compose herself. She knows in her mind that she's being ridiculous, but her heart just won't follow what her brain is telling her. It's so infuriating. She took down Alduin; she took down Miraak; she took down the Thalmor; and now she's being taken down by her own traitorous heart.

She might be human like Sofie said, but she shouldn't be caving to her feelings like this. It's just so horrifically mortifying, especially when it's over something like this.

Concentrating on her breathing until she hears the soft, regal footsteps of her husband, she's sufficiently calmed down by the time he comes through the door. "Care to enlighten me as to what just happened?" he asks curtly, still somewhat hurt over her harsh, inexplicable reaction.

"I apologize," Almithara begins. "Come and sit down." She pats the empty spot on the bed next to her.

Ondolemar looks a little wary but still comes and takes a seat beside his wife. She gives him a weak smile, and he returns it with a miniscule one of his own. "Now will you tell me?"

"It's the 17th of Second Seed."

"Yes, I'm aware of the date, but I don't understand its significance."

Almithara takes another deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I found Vilkas with Njada on the 17th of Second Seed, and I'm just having a problem with it this year."

Ondolemar's face darkens. "I didn't realize that it would be a source of pain for you still. I thought that you did not wish for him back."

Almithara levels a stare at him. "Of course, I don't want him back. He may have apologized to both of us, but I couldn't care less if I never saw him again. I'm just having some uneasy flashbacks. It's never bothered me any other year," she explains.

"Why?" he asks, unsure as to what caused this problem now.

"What upset me was seeing you with Ysolda in the square."

Ondolemar raises an eyebrow. "You were angry that I was speaking with Ysolda?"

"She put her hand on your arm and giggled," Almithara growls, clenching her fist in annoyance. "Suddenly, instead of finding Vilkas with Njada, I saw myself finding you with her. It makes me physically sick to think about—even right now." She swallows down the bile trying to rise in her throat and looks directly into his eyes. He swears he can see the gold spark with flames that are sparking in her palms. "You're mine."

Ondolemar just sighs, but he'd be lying if he were to claim he isn't a little flattered by her jealousy. It's always nice to know that she still wants him above all others, but he hates to see the amount of distress this is causing her, which sours his pleasure quite a lot. "She was simply asking if we had gotten anymore Sleeping Tree Sap. I told her that we hadn't been out that way yet and that I don't feel comfortable going out to a giant camp without you and maybe even Inigo. She was simply poking fun at my inability to go anywhere without you. I believe there was a quip about my age thrown in. And I don't understand why you're upset; she does the same thing to you and most of the citizens of Whiterun."

"I know!" she very nearly shouts, making Ondolemar jump a bit in surprise. "That's why I'm mad! I'm being so unreasonable, and I hate it!" At the end of her sentence, she buries her face in her hands and cries with renewed passion.

Ondolemar's irritation with her crumbles, and he wraps her in his large embrace, where she proceeds to cry in the front of his robes. He hears her attempt to say something, but he can't make it out with her face smashed against him. "What?"

"I don't know what I'd do without you. You can't leave me."

"I would never leave you," he swears. "Even if I wanted to, which I don't, I saw what you did to Noranae and Elenwen. I don't think you'd allow me to leave."

She nods emphatically. "I wouldn't. I would track you down across all of Tamriel and drag you back with me. I just don't like feeling like this," she admits.

"Almithara, you are entitled to be upset from time to time."

"But I took it out on you, and you didn't deserve it! You didn't do anything wrong, and I'm just crazy."

Ondolemar chuckles. "I knew that when I married you." She lifts her head from his chest to glare at him menacingly. He isn't fazed by her threat and just continues to laugh. "It's fine, Almithara. As long as you aren't angry because you want someone else, I don't begrudge you sadness over an unfortunate situation and an unfortunate reminder of that situation."

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"It's okay, love. Just…please don't yell at me next time. I only want to help."

"Deal," she agrees, wrapping her arms around him and snuggling deeper into him. He feels like home.

He contents himself with holding her for a little while. When he believes that she has calmed down enough, he leans back to look down into her face. "Why don't we go back downstairs? The children were worried about you."

Almithara blushes with slight embarrassment. "Yes, I should go down and make sure they're okay. And Sofie and Quintus came all the way to spend the week with us. I shouldn't let this take any more of my happiness away from me." She clasps his hand in hers, and he gives her small appendage a comforting squeeze.

Hand in hand, they make their way to the dining room to rejoin their family.

And next time she finds herself angry, she leaves no one questioning exactly what the problem is—much to everyone's simultaneous relief and fright.

**Author's Note:**

> Communication is one of the most important things! And sometimes our emotions get the best of us. And the "I'm just crazy" and "I knew that when I married you" came from a conversation with my husband a few weeks back. It made me laugh (after the fact...not so much at the time), so I thought I'd include it here.


End file.
